Sick Funny Jokes

The 3rd grade teacherd had to leave her classroom for a few minutes. On returning, she found the children in perfect order. Everybody was sitting absolutely quiet.
She was shocked and absolutely ...

A guy is sitting in a bar, absolutely drooling at a pretty young thing in her short, pink mini-dress. Using the time honored ice breaker, he sends her a drink.
"How lucky am I," he thinks, as ...

Little Johnny and his grandfather have gone fishing. After a while grandpa gets thirsty and opens up his cooler for some beer. Little Johnny asks, "Grandpa can I have some beer too?"
"Can you ...

A guy and a girl are having sex when they both say, "I'm really hungry and thirsty too. It was freakin' freezing in the house so they both have an argument over who should go get the food and drink. ...

A little boy came home from school and his homework assignment was to find out what the difference was between hypothetically and realistically... so he asked his dad.
His dad said, "Well, go ...

The sky was dark, the moon was high
All alone, just her and I.
Her hair was so soft her eyes so blue,
I knew just what she wanted to do.
Her skin so soft her legs so fine,
...

One dismal rainy night, a taxi driver spotted an arm waving from the shadows of an alley halfway down the block. Even before he rolled to a stop at the curb, a figure leaped into the cab and slammed ...

A man went into a pharmacy and asked to talk to a male pharmacist. The woman he was talking to said that she was the pharmacist and that she and her sister owned the store, so there were no males employed ...

There was a guy who was struggling to decide what to wear to go to a fancy costume party... Then he had a bright idea.
When the host answered the door, he found the guy standing there with no shirt ...

Three members of a weekly female bridge quartet were duly impressed when the fourth arrived wearing a gorgeous new mink coat.
"That's a lovely garment Dottie," purred one woman "It must have ...